The Tormentor

My neighbours have a new kitten and my dog hates cats so everytime she sees Jess the cat..she runs at her,chases her through the garden,down the street is she can..anywhere aslong as its away from our house. Last week i couldnt find her anywhere in the house..i even went upstairs to look for her and when i looked out my bedroom window into the backyard i saw her sat on the grass looking up at our tree. When i got out into the garden i noticed that the cat was sitting in the tree on top of the bird house...no one Holly was sat there. She was waiting for Jess to venture out of the tree so she could chase her. But Jess isnt that stupid..but she is mean!!

Jess doesnt back down..she will hiss and stare and i swear she does it on purpose..she knows that it annoys my dog..she knows that my dog wants to chase her and get her away but still she sits there just looking at her..watching her try and get into the tree,watching her watching.

I think Holly spent 2hrs just sat at the bottom of the tree watching Jess and she didnt move a muscle. In the end,after watching her just sit there i went outside and saw Jess,stroked her and tried to get her to leave..just to give my dog a rest. It didnt work and i had to make my dog come inside..she was driving me crazy just sat there. But,it wasnt good enough! She kept going and sitting by the backdoor until i let her out again to continue sitting by the tree watching Jess.

I cant afford a lens baby for my camera yet so in the meantime i have to settle for a photoshop action which gives the same affect as the lens baby..just not quite as good i guess.
But i went with a black & white action with this and then just used the lens baby action...just for fun!

Fear

A few weeks ago we found out that my Grandad has cancer. I cant say that i was suprised..he has been a smoker all his life and suffers from a few other health conditions like diabeties,asthma and angina. Even though deep down i think i knew this would happen,it still doesnt prepare you for hearing it. His health has been getting worse for weeks..maybe even months and we all know that sadly,he wont be with us for much longer.
Im sad that it has to be like this,i would wish that he could live forever if it was a happy and painless life but i know that he cant and probably wouldnt wish to either. Im quite close to my grandad in that i see him alot,i get on with him well and i love him very much. My nan died 13/14 years ago so he has been on his own for a long time now and im sure he looks forward to the day when he will see her again. Hes the only one of my grandparents still alive and perhaps thats what makes it harder for me to accept. Once hes gone..there will be none of them left and a part of my world will be missing forever..never to return.

Its a dark time in our lives right now as we learn to deal with the information we have and knowledge that one day..maybe sooner than we hope..he will leave us for good.

I dont deal with death well...i doubt anyone does. I dont believe in God,im Buddhist so i know that he will return even if it isnt to me. But maybe that makes it harder for me to let go. Both my parents are christian and they know and feel that once you die that is it,you go to heaven and thats the end of it...maybe that gives them the closure they need..im not sure.

I took probably one of the only self portraits i have ever taken in my life to document how i was feeling the day i got the news about my grandad. The waiting is the bit that will probably get to me the most..the uncertainty of it all. We know it will happen,we know it will be a very sad and traumatic time..but when will it happen. I hope not very soon but i know that sadly,maybe the sooner the better if he is in pain.

I feel confused still. In the dark. Waiting for the day when my grandad will be with me no more!

Photo of the Day:Tuesday

My Photo of the day for Tuesday. This is one of the first photos that i took with my dslr back at the beginning of June.
Taken on 6th June on a walk with the dog. I think this was in someone's garden. I processed in photoshop and used a childish david b&w action.

Catch up

I'll be playing catch up with my blog for at least a week. Ive been neglecting it and havent blogged properly at all so for the next week maybe more i'll be uploading pictures from the weeks before..all in an attempt to get myself back on track. Eventually i will have to give up on back dating otherwise i'll never catch up with myself. Maybe the best way to do it is to make more than one post a day..which as evidence suggests..im currently doing. If anyone reads this blog..and its probably doubtful..then just bare with me. I make no sense at all most of the time and probably less sense at 12.30am after 2 bottles of Stella but nevermind.


Anyway..here's a picture from a couple of weeks ago when i was down at the Vicky Bridge in Hereford checking out the river during the flooding.

Its not the river..but a picture of Nelson's Colum on the Castle Green next to the river. It marks the original site of Hereford castle.

Herefordshire Countryside

A few days ago i decided to take Holly on a nice long walk down the river. I think shes feeling abit neglected as my dad isnt well enough to take her on nice long walks anymore and so it all falls down to me. I decided it'd be nice to go down to the river...after the flooding i wondered how wet it would be down there and i know she loves running through the fields. So we set off on the 20min walk to the river and spent an hour walking along the top bank of the field as the bank over the river was still water logged and muddy from all the flooding.

Just through the gate..this was the lovely view we were greeted by. The corn is still pretty much in tack and the whole field is covered in it but i dont think it will be any good after all the water that filled the field for a couple days while the river was up.

Wide angle is great when you have such a nice view to look at. I used my 17.5-45mm to take this..i love the sweeping landscape look.

Every now and then along the bank Holly would run off into the corn hunting down a bird or other creature that she had seen/heard move. It was so much fun watching her run around having a great time in the late evening sunshine and running in and out of bushes and corn following her own path.

With a field full of corn i just had to stop and take a couple of pictures,they arent really anything interesting but every picture i take is like a learning experience for me. If it turns out good or looks interesting then thats great,if not...then i know not to do it again!

I processed this shot in Photoshop and used a Childish David black and white action on it. I love David's black and white actions because they arent just your average black and white and his range gives great subtle changed in tone and light.

Half way along the bank i saw this lonely looking tree on the other side of the river in the middle of a field. Then i noticed all these little white dots along side..changed my lens over to the zoom and looked again..i realised that it was sheep all along the top of the hill.

I recently got ACR (Adobe Camera Raw) and so ive been starting to process alot..almost all of my pictures in that.

I love the results that you get in ACR and the fact that you can get settings for the program like the actions you get for photoshop.

The results might not what you would consider traditional but thats what i like about it,you get to experiment and think outside the box abit more..give a different and unique edge to your photographs and work. I think i will be using ACR more in the long run,especially when i have the money to purchase Marina Miller's Underground set.

Photo of the Day:Monday

Its technically Monday now so in an attempt to start as i mean to go on...here is my photo of the day for Monday.

This was taken on June 17th at a graveyard where my grandparents are buried in Wentnor,Shropshire. Its a memorial to soldiers who fought during the war.

Wish List

Im being second shooter at my cousins wedding in September...woohoo..my first photography job. But at the moment im lacking in equipment really so...ive put together a wish list in the hope that before the wedding i'll have the money to buy at least a couple of things from it.

Wish List:

Olympus FL-36 Flash
Gary Fong Lightsphere
OM Adapter
Sigma 50mm
Olympus 24-70mm

A combined cost of lets say....around £700
I want to at least get the flash before then so that i can use it at the wedding..the gary fong lightsphere wound be excellent to have by then aswell as i want to use it at the same time.
After that..i just hope to get the money for the adapter and 50mm....i can dream huh!!

Promise

Its been weeks since i last posted and ive decided..seeing as i havent got anything better to do with my time at the moment and i should really make more of an effort,im going to make at least one proper post a week and post at least 1 photo a day..even if it isnt of anything specific.
I need to get back into a routine of doing this and maybe it will take my mind of other things that are going on at the moment.
Ive decided that im not going to go back to university in september..i plan to take at least a year off and then think about it. Eventually,i will need to do my third year,i dont think there is any point in me spending 2 years at university getting 1/2 way towards a degree that i ultimately do like and want to get..just to drop out and not bother.
In the meantime..i need to find a new job,now that im back from uni and have left my old job behind..i need something to do. I plan to concentrate on my photography abit more,with some money coming in i can get more equipment,books...Marina Miller's awesome 'Undergroud Raw Settings' and practice more,do more photography work and hopefully make a name for myself...thats the plan anyway!